The C Word

I would love to be an influencer.

They always look fantastic; they gets loads of free stuff and they all hang out together in these super cool groups.

I on the other hand hang out in my kitchen, wearing the exact same black leggings on rotation, unable to influence my children to put on trousers.

I especially like when an influencer posts a video sharing an ‘Every day make up look’. If anyone needs an everyday make up look it’s me.  I press play, my anticipation mounts.

Step 1- Prep the skin. Eh ok.  I wash my face and put on moisturiser. Tick

Step 2 – Pre-primer, Primer,  colour corrector ,  foundation, concealer for eyes, concealer for nose, blush and highlighter. These all require different products and different brushes.

Now, up to this point I really am doing my best, I’m all in and I’m about to purchase said brushes when they say the word.  The word that completely tips me over the  edge – Contouring 

Would you shut the front door.

I have circa three uninterrupted minutes every morning to brush my teeth, hair and put something on my face to stop me looking like the walking dead and you want me to contour !

Even if I had all the time in the world, I fear I would still come out looking like a multi-coloured zebra if I attempted to contour any part of me.

Also, while we are on this topic, the ‘Everyday hair’ tutorials are the same. Firstly they wash their hair, then blow dry their hair straight and then curl their hair. What in the world ..?!  These are unquestionably three separate hair days and just to mention I consider brushing my hair and putting it in a bobbin a win most days.

So, in conclusion, I can only hope these beautiful women with perfect hair and make-up have a team of childminders, hairstylists and make -up artists living in their houses (perfect houses) because if not I am failing at life, massively.



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